I read a fair amount about living well in retirement and aging in this country and lately a lot of the rhetoric has been about ageism. People are talking about not having a voice and feeling invisible in retirement. They’re talking about all of the ills that are befalling them because the next generation doesn’t have time for their wisdom. They’re decrying that “aging isn’t for wimps,” and that they should be revered because they are making it through this challenging time but instead everyone is ignoring them. And, frankly, it’s scary. But not for the reasons you may think. It’s scary because so much of what we are talking about as a cohort is related to negativity about aging. And as study after study confirms (and, by the way, as far as I can tell nobody disagrees) your attitude about aging will significantly impact your aging experience. If you talk about how lousy aging is, well, then aging will be lousy. But if you have a positive attitude about aging - and you spread that optimism - you will have a better aging experience and you could, very well, help others to live a longer, happier life, too!
“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” –George Bernard Shaw.
Shaw may have been on to something.
This quick read from Nye Health Services gives you the highlights of all of the recent research on the subject of having a positive attitude about aging in a nutshell. They cite living longer, ageing slower and better, being healthier, being less stressed and being better able to bounce back from adversity as benefits from a positive attitude about aging.
VeryWell Mind quotes studies that conclude that a happy disposition makes you want to live longer and better… so you do! “Findings suggest that positive thinking about aging can increase a person's will to live, making them more resilient to illness and more proactive about health. Those with a positive outlook are also likely to experience less stress, reducing their likelihood of developing chronic diseases or disorders.”
Want something more scientific? This article from the American Heart Association quotes a study published in JAMA Network Open. “The study found those with the highest satisfaction with aging had a 43% lower risk of dying from any cause during four years of follow-up compared to those with the lowest satisfaction. People with higher satisfaction also had a reduced risk for chronic conditions such as diabetes, stroke, cancer and heart disease, as well as better cognitive functioning. People with a more positive attitude about growing old also were more likely to engage in frequent physical activity and less likely to have trouble sleeping than their less-satisfied peers. They also were less lonely, less likely to be depressed, more optimistic and had a stronger sense of purpose.”
Wow! Did you see that? 43% less likely to die over 4 years, just from having a positive attitude about aging! And, you’ll have better cognitive function. You’ll be less depressed, less lonely and more likely to engage in the art of living, my friend!
And it’s not just looking at the sunny side of things when you are 70 that helps. According to VeryWell Mind ”Research on the topic has found that people who have a positive outlook on aging while they are young, rather than dreading growing old, have a greater chance of living longer.” So, reading all of that negativity about aging now is going to make it harder to age better when we really need the positivity, in our later years!
The choice is yours
All of the research I can find over the last 20 years says basically the same thing. If you think you’ll have a happy, fulfilling old age, you will. If you think you will have a difficult, frustrating or infirm old age, you will. You get to choose. Which do you prefer?
Let’s spread the word!
Rather than spending our precious words and time on lamenting the impending doom of invisibility and infirmity, we need to be rejoicing about the amazing aspects of age that only come from having spent more days on the planet.
Here are some of the reasons getting older is so much fun for me:
I have time to plan amazing activities with my friends and actually do them!
I am growing stronger than I have ever been because I know how my body feels when I don’t exercise and eat well
I have time to actually listen to my son and my family
I don’t really care if I look silly trying something new
I have perspective that allows me to grow, rather than try to be perfect all the time
I have built a support system of people and resources that allow me to feel grounded and safe
I know what I don’t like
In short - retirement ROCKS! and we need to be starting a revolution on rhetoric that allows people to LOOK FORWARD TO getting older instead of instilling fear and loathing about the prospect. The current conversation is going to kill us - or at least make us unhappy and maybe, dare I say it, crotchety.
What are your reasons to rejoice in getting older?
Flip Ageism on its head
"I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience," Ronald Reagan. (However you feel about his politics, you gotta agree that’s a good line.)
Ageing has some unpleasant aspects. There’s no getting around that. You do need to acknowledge that and learn how to live with them. But every age has its challenges. Yeah, I could dwell on the fact that my skin is getting saggy or that technology is getting ahead of me and I’m feeling left behind or that my feet hurt. But why? Rather, I choose to feel sorry for those poor kids who don’t have the perspective and free time and freedom to grow unimpeded and the systems to feel grounded and safe that ageing provides for me. Heck, maybe I AM ageist. Older is better! Plain and simple. Be an aging optimist!
Up the aging rhetoric revolution!
Send me your reasons to be glad you are getting older, or pop them in the comments. Let’s spread the word about the positivity of aging!
The Optimist Creed
Promise yourself:
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything (especially aging) and to make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and to press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and to give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.