Focus: Wellness - The Clutter of the Second Act
What are you putting off until you "have time in retirement?"
Photo by Olena Sergienko on Unsplash
You know all of that stuff you’d really like to get to, but you just don’t have time? You know… the cleaning and home repair and estate planning and Lord knows what all else that you’re going to get to “when you retire and have time?” I submit to you that there’s a reason you’re putting all of that stuff off, but it doesn’t actually have as much to do with time as you think it does. You’re putting it off because, frankly, you just don’t like doing it. Here’s the bad news: you’re not going to like that stuff any more after retirement than you do today. Here’s the worse news: you’re not going to have your convenient little excuses of not enough time anymore after you retire. So, what is one to do about the shed in the backyard that is falling down or that linen closet that has 12 pillows and towels from your first marriage that you haven’t used in decades?
How do you get started on the yucky stuff that you’ve put off until… well… now? Your best tools are a motivating reason and a plan of attack! My friend, Paula, is going to help us get started tackling clutter. She’s provided motivation and a plan! If clutter is your Achilles heel, this will help. And if not, give this a read anyway. There are some ideas here that can help with whatever that bugaboo is for you, like starting small or getting some help with perspective or just getting over the first hump.
Paula’s Cluttertastic Plan
Your home is your castle, and when you are retired, you spend a whole lot of time there!
When you look around, do you feel calm and at peace, or do you feel overwhelmed by all the "stuff"? Clutter has a negative impact on your overall contentment and sense of well-being. You have the time NOW to clear it out. If you love your children (and I know you do!) do not leave this chore to your grieving children (been there, done that).
Here are my recommendations:
Watch "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo" on Netflix - She is your role model, my idol.
Hire someone to help you - nothing can be as motivating as having someone else (a stranger!) ask you why you have 12 wire whisks.
Start small. Clear out one drawer a day, one cupboard, one closet, one bookcase. You get the picture. Whatever you do, don't try to tackle it all at once. It took 40+ years to acquire all this "stuff", give yourself a year to clear it out.
Don't start in the garage; that task is just way too overwhelming!
Schedule a Party at a date out in the future to give away your "treasures".
If you'd rather try to make some money, take pictures and post your heirlooms on Craigslist, Poshmark, E*Bay, Marketplace, etc. It's kind of fun to put a little cash in your pocket.
If you're feeling charitable, of course there's your local Hospice and Goodwill.
Recognize your trash as trash and throw it in the garbage.
Cancel your Sam's and Costco Memberships. The hoarding is what got you here in the first place. You have downsized; you don't have room for 400 rolls of toilet paper. Stop yourself!
My Turn!
I love these suggestions! Here are a few that jumped out at me.
First, the thing about scheduling a party to give yourself a timeline and a motivational goal is genius! It’s a built-in reward. This works for lots of stuff. For instance, I registered, with a friend, for a bike race in May. I haven’t been on a bike since I was young enough to still have my sense of balance. But, I figure if I have a timeline and a friend that’s counting on me (motivation), I’ll make it happen. And my reward? It’s in May at a vineyard. Need I say more?
I also love the idea of outsourcing. Remember, we said you’re not going to WANT to do this stuff when you’re retired any more than you want to do it today. In some cases, you can outsource the whole damn thing to someone else. A caution, though - you’ll feel better about spending that money BEFORE you retire - so think about that in your retirement planning and maybe build a few things in before your big day. (Money looks a little different in retirement and it’s harder to give it to someone else when there is none coming in.) The other thing you can do is just outsource the initial bump into doing something, like having Hello Fresh deliver meals for a month, or a trainer help you with a few weight training sessions, or having someone from care.com come in and help with decluttering one room or hiring a handyman for that one ugly thing, but getting out your own tools for the lesser evils. Stuff like that can make a huge difference and grease the skids for you getting on some of this stuff yourself. Once you’re over the hump, you can often take it from there much more easily.
The other suggestion I really like is canceling those club memberships. Or, at least taking stock of the things you do that may not serve you as well in retirement. Is all of the maintenance on all of your toys getting you down, for instance? Maybe take a minute to think about whether you need the newest drone or the side by side UTV that just came out before you hit “buy.” It may have been reflexive to grab the latest and greatest as you were growing your life, but it may just become overwhelming as you find yourself less and less interested in upkeep. Or, maybe it’s the latest fashions that now fill every. single. closet. in your entire house. Or joining every service organization or saying “yes” to every volunteer request. Not everything that served you in the Second Act may serve you in the Third. If you find those things, let them go! It’ll be weird. (Of course Costco has phenomenal deals that made you feel brilliant over the years, but if they’re now taking over your house, it’s best to let them go.) But it may just be liberating.
Your Turn!
What are the things you are (consciously or unconsciously) putting off “until you have time in retirement?” Make a list. Now, what you need is a motivator and a plan.
Paula’s motivator is serenity in retirement and alleviation of the guilt of leaving the decluttering to her son. What are your motivations?
Paula’s plans are brilliant. There are lots of good suggestions, here, to get started. Which tools and tricks will work for you? Do you like the idea of one drawer at a time? How about finding some inspiration on social media? Maybe the idea of making some money for your efforts appeals to you. How could you make that happen? Whatever tools you use, your kids will thank you for getting this stuff done so they don’t have to!
All you have to do right now is get clear about your motivation, your plan and your timeline. Then, when you are retired (or whenever you put that stake in the ground) you won’t have to think about WHY or HOW you’re going to get this stuff done. It’ll be right there in front of you.
When you’re ready to get started, schedule something. I find that having monthly goals is helpful and putting time on my calendar to tackle them gets rubber hitting road. I like to schedule an hour a day (sometimes 30 minutes when it’s a really distasteful chore) to tackle all of that stuff that built up over the 30 years of my Second Act. It’ll take a while, but Paula is right - it took 30 or 40 years to get this way. It’s a good expectation that it will take a while to unwind it all.
So there you go! First, get past the delusion that suddenly you’re going to want to unclutter your closets or talk with your spouse about advance care directives and splitting up assets after you “have time” in retirement. Then, get clear on why you want to get this stuff done and, finally, put an action plan in place so when the time comes, you’ll hit the ground running… or cleaning, or repairing or some damn thing.
Thanks, Paula, for helping us find ways to live a more peaceful life in retirement!!