Where Have You Been?

The backroads of the Third Act

Photo by Jasmin Chew on Unsplash

I officially retired back in June of last year. Having drunk the “retirement readiness” nectar, I had it all figured out. I was going to start a newsletter and, eventually, a coaching business around retirement (purpose). I’d signed up to walk a half marathon, scheduled an inn-to-inn hike and had all of the farmer’s markets scoped out (wellness). I had my budget all figured out and got all of my insurances (healthcare, LTC, umbrella, etc.) in place (financial). I had my happy hour crew and I signed up for a book club and an investment club that my friends invited me to (connections) and I had trips to Phuket, the Maldives and Greece all set (FUN!!). All of my pillars were covered. I was doing great, right up until December, when I decided to take a breath and coast a little. Then, the holidays came up and I took another breath - coasted some more - and then January happened and I took another breath and then another. By the end of January, pretty much all I was doing was breathing. Yes, that beats the alternative, but… where was all of that fire I had when I retired? I read a great analogy in one of my favorite books. The author compares the Second Act (after college and before retirement) to a highway. Once you get on, you’re going at top speed and it’s pretty easy to figure out where you’re supposed to go. You can take an offramp, but the main artery of the highway is pretty obvious and marked with plenty of signs (career, home, spouse, 2.5 kids, climb, climb, climb), but when you get to the Third Act, it’s more like backroads. You meander. You get lost. You smell the roses and sometimes, you take out a picnic and just sit down for a while. And maybe, one day, you find a destination. Maybe not. I think I got to enjoying my picnic and forgot to check my map. But it’s time to stand up, dust off, put away the pickles and the wine glasses and get back on the backroad of my newsletter. I thank you for indulging me in my picnic.

Winter Doldrums: How to do the Third Act deep in the season of hibernation

Yep. It’s winter. That can be a good excuse to pull up the afghan, turn on the tube and settle in with your hot chocolate - or bourbon. Which, come to think of it, doesn’t sound like a bad evening - but don’t let it become your entire life lest you degrade into the crazy cat lady or the crotchety old man. Every one of our Third Act pillars can be vibrant in winter. Let’s take a little stroll through them.

Wellness

‘Tis the season of the winter veg! I used to hate them. Then, I learned to love them. Why? Because they often pair well with maple syrup… and bacon. Seriously, try sweet potatoes or butternut squash with a sprinkle of bacon. Or drizzle some maple syrup on carrots or kabocha. Not into it? Well… winter wellness could also mean strapping some damn thing on your feet and hitting the slippery stuff. I tried xc skiing for the first time this year. I suck at alpine skiing, so I thought I’d try cross-country. It turns out snow is still slippery even when you’re not careening down a mountain… Yeah, I suck at cross-country, too, but I had a great time and got my heart rate up! Maybe next time I’ll try snowshoes. They grip the ice, right?

Financial

The beginning of the year is the perfect time to take stock of your financials. First of all, there’s nothing fun to do in the backyard anyway, you might as well make the best of sitting inside. Secondly, you have a whole year behind you to look at what has been and a whole year in front of you to make some tweaks - or trash the whole damn thing and start over. Pull out your bank account, your Mint account, your brokerage statement, your spouse and anything else you need. (You’re going to need them for your taxes, anyway, might as well learn how to log in and look at them now.) I don’t need to tell you how to do this. Partly, because I already have here and here.

Connections

Your friends are desperate for you right now! They’ve been sitting at home in the dead of winter with their afghans and bourbon - waiting for something interesting to happen. All you have to do is break them out of the doldrums and you’ll be a hero! You got good at virtual stuff over the last couple of years, why not set up a Zoom thing, for old times sake? Or bring over a deck of cards and play… Crazy 8’s, if you can’t think of anything else. I had a few ROUSING games of Yahtzee recently. Seemed almost as exciting as winning the lottery, when contrasted with the black recliner that usually keeps me company. Just connect. Your friends will think you’re Wonder Woman, Superman and Deadpool all wrapped up on one.

Purpose

On a more serious note, there are a lot of people who need things more urgently in winter. Dogs and cats need care more urgently, too. If you’ve been thinking of volunteering, winter is a time of need. Or, if you have an idea of going back to school, now is the time to start. Some universities and, I think, most community colleges are still taking applications for 2022. Every state has a free program for seniors. Have you checked yours out? And, if you’re thinking of starting a business or other venture, there’s nothing like a New Year’s resolution to get you going.

FUN

When isn’t a good time for FUN!?! Winter is the time of cheap travel! Airlines and hotels are begging for guests. Not ready to travel in the pandemic? One thing that pandemic has done is put fun online. You can do almost anything online, these days. I’ve done everything from learning to create a podcast to taking a stand up comedy class to listening to a series of awesome storytellers to game nights and escape rooms - all online. For those still stuck on the stand up thing - yep, I did that. When I first retired, I thought taking a stand up comedy class sounded like fun. By the time the class came around, fun was not exactly the adjective I would have chosen… but I decided to forge ahead anyway. And, guess what? It was FUN! I’ll never be a stand up comic. Heck, I’ll never be a comic of any ilk. But going that far outside of my comfort zone and surviving was a major kick! Try something. Anything. Most anything you can think of is a click away.

Hopefully, if nothing else, this newsletter has reminded you of the pillars we started exploring last year on our way to a successful Third Act. I hope you’ll fold up your little checked table cloth and start to find the path again with me. Winter can be a wonderful time to do it! I’ll talk with you again next week (I promise)!

For those of you in the Sacramento area, I’m teaching a class on the non-financial aspects of retirement readiness at the Sierra College Extension. Come and say hi! I’d love to see you!